All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
