It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
