you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
