no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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