so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
