I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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