With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
