I am puke
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
