I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
