i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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