It's like God shit irony all over that family
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
