Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
