just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
