My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
