i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He better not be in your backpack
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
