Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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