I accidentally burped into my bong.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
