she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
