The brown eye won't let me do that either.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There r osticjed everywhere
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
