I'm so fucking centered right now
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
