i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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