i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just had sex bonerless
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
