Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
