tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
