dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
