k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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