It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
