You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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