I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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