he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Randomize
