he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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