i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
