If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
