Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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