i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
