just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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