the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
