it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm passing your future prison.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
