I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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