I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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