everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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