Life is so much better after having sex.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
