people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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