I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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