she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
