his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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