So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
