you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
