She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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