You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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