why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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