The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
