So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
