have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
